There Is No Such Thing As "Too Much Sex"


If you don't follow me on Twitter, you might have missed my angry response rant to the BBC Radio 5 and Amber Davies' new "rules" for sex.

I'm a very passionate person at the best of times, but I really couldn't stay quiet when I saw someone I previously voiced my support for online suddenly telling girls that they shouldn't be having casual sex.

I was contacted by indy100 to talk more in depth about why I think Amber's comments were so damaging, and within an hour there was a full article about it only that featured all my tweets and quotes I provided.


Naturally my entire monologue was not featured in the original article (which you can read here), so I wanted to share the full thing with you in case you, like me, are passionate about feminism and refuse to stand by and let the slut-shaming culture take over our sex positivity.

Why do you think Amber's comments are damaging, and do you have any advice/thoughts on how to bring more sex positivity to the world?


I was so disappointed to see Amber Davies voicing such damaging thoughts and “rules” regarding women’s attitudes towards sex. I really enjoyed her presence in Love Island last year and supported her throughout the reality show, and I would like to make that clear as I don’t actually have a problem with her personally. This isn’t coming from a place of negativity towards her at all.

However, it’s so important to acknowledge that sex, sexual health and navigating sexuality is already complex enough without having influential people, such as Amber, creating rules for what she thinks should and shouldn’t be acceptable. Of course I’m concerned for the “young and impressionable”, but I receive daily messages from people of 21+ years of age that thank me for talking openly about sex because they still feel an enormous amount of shame surrounding their sexual relationships with themselves.

I need to stress that a large part of the problem surrounding Amber’s video is not the attitude itself, but the way in which it blankets over the fact that girls & women everywhere should live by them. It’s totally okay for Amber, or anyone, to not want to have sex on a first date, to want to avoid sexual encounters while under the influence of alcohol, to not want to have casual sex, to not want to use her sexuality to impress boys and to not want to “follow the crowd”. All of those are very valid decisions to make for yourself.

The problem arises when she then takes those ideas and makes a video instilling the thought that her way is the right way. What about people that want to have sex on the first date because they’re making the informed decision to do so? What about people that give informed and enthusiastic consent when under the influence of alcohol, provided that they’re not entirely wasted and unable to consent? There are millions of people that aren’t interested in romantic relationships and they want and are enthusiastic about having casual sexual relationships, and that’s absolutely fine too!

Sex and relationships aren’t cookie-cutter experiences, and that’s why you can’t make such generic “rules”. It’s also entirely hypocritical that she’s telling an audience to “not follow the crowd”, while simultaneously telling them what to do.

Slut-shaming is a very real issue in our world, and it’s not cute. I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a “slut” and that using derogatory terms when referring to another person comes from a deeper problem and/or insecurity within each person. You can’t argue the fact that it comes across as an inherent need to make themselves appear to be “above” others in some way.

Bringing more sex-positivity to the world requires a complex rewiring of people’s mentalities. That won’t happen overnight, and a lot of people’s minds cannot be changed. I do what I can in the form of talking very openly about sex, my relationship with myself and my feelings towards such issues with everyone that will listen. It started with my family, then my friends and now it’s become my own online community of 70+ thousand people collectively, where I’m fighting to erase the concept of “taboos”. Talking openly, honestly and allowing yourself to feel vulnerable in the face of others is absolutely the way forward, but it’s a completely personal journey for everyone.

Self-respect is not about how others perceive you, but rather about how you commit to chasing your dreams, fulfilling your own passions, making informed decisions in your own best interest and doing do unapologetically.

39 comments

  1. "Self-respect is not about how others perceive you, but rather about how you commit to chasing your dreams, fulfilling your own passions, making informed decisions in your own best interest and doing you unapologetically."

    This right here.

    Chichi
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    PROSTRATE CANCER
    HIV/AIDS
    SPELL OF ALL KINDS LIKE EX BACK,CANCEL DIVORCE,BREAK UP SPELL ,PREGNANCY SPELL,PROMOTION SPELL,JOB SPELL
    ALS
    HPV 123
    PILE
    ASTHMA
    HEART FAILURE
    PREMATURE EJACULATION
    HEPATITIS A,B,C AND MANY MORE
    THANKS

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hello everyone out there, I'm here to give my testimony about a herbalist doctor who helped me. I was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS in 2011, I went to many hospitals to heal myself but there was no solution, so I was thinking how I can get a solution so that my body can be well. One day I was in the river thinking about where I can go to get a solution. so a lady walked towards me telling me why I'm so sad and I open everything by telling her my problem, she told me she could help me, she introduced me to a doctor who uses herbal medicines to cure the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS and gave me your email, so I sent you an email. He told me everything I had to do and also gave me instructions to take, which I followed correctly. Before I knew what was happening after two weeks, the SIMPLEX HERPES VIRUS that was in my body disappeared. therefore, if you also have a broken heart and need help, you can also send an email to {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com}or whatsapp him number: +2349038382931 or Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/drolihamiraclemedicine/
    Contact him today and he will have a testimony ... Good luck!

    Dr. OLIHA also cures:
    1. HIV / AIDS
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)
    5. Hepatitis B
    6. chronic pancreatic
    7. emphysema
    8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)

    ReplyDelete
  32. I want to thank God for using great Dr sikama to cure me from HIV with his powerful herbs treatment. , I am here to tell the world that there is a powerful traditional herbal doctor who is well perfect in curing people from different types of diseases, illness and infection, he is a man who can use his liquid herbal medicines to cure people with their different states of problem. Here I am today, I am a living testimony, I had HIV for five years now and i have tried so many doctor and tried so many types of treatment, i undergo through many sufferings and shames for five years and finally now, Dr sikama has put a smile in my face that will last forever, if not for God for directing me to Dr sikama I would have been a dead woman todaess all thanks goes to God. I was cured after using the great herbs of Dr sikama and now I cured from herpes and I have my test result here with me, I ordered for his medicines September 20th last year and I was cured after one month of taking his medicines up till now to this January 6th, 2018 i have no problem with HIV anymore, I now have rest of mind and I am very happy for God using Dr sikama to heal me. contact doctor today via Email:Drsikama@gmail.com or WhatsApp number is +2348130725051 his website https://sites.google.com/view/dr-sikama
    I pray may the God heal you too as you contact him.
    Thanks....

    ReplyDelete
  33. I am one of those people who said, “I’ll never call a psychic or a magician or whatever” to help me with my problems – least of all my love problems, but I reached the point where I knew I needed some guidance, and I’m so glad I found this man called dr.ajeghe. When I nearly lost David in one of ouar stupid,fights (he broke up with me), I thought I had lost everything.i cry all day and think that he will never come back to me again.i read so many testimony about Dr. ajeghe love spell,how he help to bring back ex lover back.I quickly email him.and also get back my husband with his love spell. And when I was at my most desperate,he didn’t take advantage of me. You performed a very good service for a person in true need. I don’t know how you did it, or how this magic works, but all I know is, IT WORKS!! David my husband and I are happily back together, and I’ll always be grateful to dr.ajeghe email him for any kinds of help is very capable and reliable for help ajeghespelltemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +2349069171173
    His Blog> https://ajeghespelltemple.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout is website; http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am one of those people who said, “I’ll never call a psychic or a magician or whatever” to help me with my problems – least of all my love problems, but I reached the point where I knew I needed some guidance, and I’m so glad I found this man called Dr Lucky When I nearly lost David in one of our stupid,fights (he broke up with me), I thought I had lost everything.i cry all day and think that he will never come back to me again.i read so many testimony about Dr. Lucky love spell,how he help to bring back ex lover back.I quickly email him.and also get back my husband with his love spell. And when I was at my most desperate,he didn’t take advantage of me. You performed a very good service for a person in true need. I don’t know how you did it, or how this magic works, but all I know is, IT WORKS!! David my husband and I are happily back together, and I’ll always be grateful to Dr Lucky email him for any kinds of help is very capable and reliable for help Realspellcasteronline@gmail.com or visit his blogs Realspellcasteronline1.spotblog.com God bless Dr Lucky

    ReplyDelete
  36. I want to share a testimony of how Dr.Omohan herbal mixture cream saves me from shame and disgrace, my penis was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing,and i was also having weak erection problem. I can't make love to my wife and my penis was just too small a full grown man like me having 4 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cant even last two minutes it was really a thing of shame to me. My wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor,she never enjoyed sex,i was always thinking and searching for solutions everywhere until when i saw a testimony of how Dr.omohan herbal mixture cream have been helping people regarding their sex life, so i decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise in less than one week of taking the herbs my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 8 inches and i do not have week erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. can contact him dromohanherbalmedicine@gmail.com or call or what-apps him through +2348164816038. . .he also specialize on the following things

    1. HIV / AIDS
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)
    5. Hepatitis B
    6. chronic pancreatic
    7. emphysema
    8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
    Thanks for the Enlarging my penis sir, you indeed save my marriage...I am really grateful sir,

    ReplyDelete