My Small Boobs Ruined My Life

Photo credits @jondbarker - Mid Tea Photography
*ahem* Yes, that's a pretty dramatic title.

I spent the grand majority of my teen and adult life hating my body. I have always placed a lot of my personal self-worth on my sexual performance (perhaps a conversation for another time), and having small boobs was always something that dramatically affected my ability to love myself.

We should all strive to be more "body positive", but years of comparing ourselves to other people, being told which is the "ideal" way to look (where most of us don't fit that description) and the occasional dabble in body dysmorphia (thanks, Facetune), makes it particularly difficult to take a look at your body and love it - especially where your brain sees the things you dislike about yourself in a far more exaggerated way.

Creams, pills & bras

When I was 15, I became obsessed with "breast enlargement" creams and pills from eBay. Mental. If I could get all that money back, I'd probably be halfway to having a deposit for my first home. I would blindly apply these creams and take these pills that would supposedly make my girls grow 3 sizes. Who even knows what was in those pills and creams?! Not me - I never questioned it.

After 2 years of hoping, wanting and wishing, I gave up on those creams and pills, and moved onto an obsession with push-up bras. My boobs had grown somewhat (thanks to puberty, not the pills) and when I could finally wear "real" bras, I discovered the magic of push-up. Who cares that it's super uncomfortable to have your tatas squished up to your neck, right? So long as it gives you the appearance of a bigger rack, right? Ugh.

Push up bras were so painful - not only physically, but also emotionally. Have you ever gone round with your sexy faux-DDs, only to take your bra off at the end of the day and watch that illusion disappear? Words can't describe the level of self-loathing I would sink into when I would take off my bra before having sex. Most of the time, I would keep it on.

Surgery

After my nose job in 2016, I started considering whether or not I would get a breast augmentation someday. On one hand, I felt massively empowered by my first surgery, and I really felt like I could make any decision I decided was right for myself. Despite my huge desire to have bigger boobs, I had several reservations:

  • Given that my issue came from a fundamental lack of self-love, would I actually be happy with bigger swingers, or, would I just find another reason to hate myself?
  • Am I prepared for the responsibility that comes with a boob job? Can I guarantee that I will have the money, health and/or disposition to get a new surgery every 10 years?
  • I want kids. I want to breastfeed. Would titty implants impact this in any way? Might I regret this surgery when my milk monsters fill up after I have a baby?
  • What happens if I don't like the results? Will I be stuck in a never-ending cycle of surgeries?
  • Am I willing to deal with any health issues that may arise post-op?

After years of debating and arguing against myself... I've decided I will not be getting a boob job.

My last real hope for bigger hooters lies with having children - all women in my family went from As to DDs after having their first child, so I guess I will have to wait and find out.

If I'm all out of options for growing my boobs, how do I learn to love and accept them as they are?

The first thing I had to do was accept that my chesticles are small, and that they may always be small, but how do you suddenly just "accept" something you've spent the majority of your life desperately trying to change? I have a long way to go - but there are a few things that have really, really helped:

Not wearing a bra

I scoffed at everyone that suggested this to me - you want me to disregard my biggest insecurity and bare it naked (not literally) for everyone to see? Well, yeah... I hate to admit it, but abandoning my push-up bras was the best thing I ever did.

The mind is a wonderful thing, and it's crazy how quickly I grew accustomed to seeing my real chest in the clothes that make me feel good. This year I've replaced all my bras for a collection of unpadded, non-push-up bras that I don't even feel the need to wear.

I've reinvented my wardrobe and fashion sense to include pieces that look better without a bra, so as to encourage me to not wear one. Better yet, no one seems to have noticed. If anything, I find myself mentioning it more because it feels so good to go bra-less.

Therapy

I'm so painfully aware that I'm in a very privileged position, with free access to regularly-scheduled therapy sessions with a kind, understanding professional who's helped shift my perspective on much more than just this.

I can't stress the benefits of therapy if it's available to you. Some people say that therapy doesn't work for them, but my truth is that it only works if you're open to it. If you're deep-set in your convictions and aren't willing to admit you might be wrong, nothing anyone says to you will help you - professional or not.

Consider your thought patterns and if therapy is an option for you. It's worth a try, even if you're sceptical. You won't walk away from it feeling any worse-off.

Social media

You won't like what I will say next - but you need to cull who you follow on social media. Seems a bit "extra" to unfollow someone simply because they have bigger melons than you, but it's not really that simple.

We're conditioned to compare ourselves to the things we see - and it's not surprising that seeing pictures of beautiful women with big ol' tiddies all over your social media feeds would make you feel like what you're seeing and liking is an unattainable goal for you.

I've unfollowed the people who provided me with no other value beyond their appearance. Sure, I still follow many girls with various body types and breast sizes than myself: friends, entrepreneurs, journalists, aspirational influencers, the list goes on... But these are accounts that feed me more than just amazing pictures of their varying figures.

Moments of weakness

We all have them. It's important to have them, so that you can teach yourself to get out of that mindset. The more you practice getting back on your feet, the easier it will be over time.

Some days I'm really not feeling myself, and that's totally ok. The general goal in all this is to be a little bit kinder to myself, whether it's about my boobs, or anything else.

Being in the itty-bitty-titty-committee has ruined many things for me - from my personal self-love, confidence and respect, to many nights of hot, hot sex that could've been great if I had felt confident enough to really let loose... But I won't let it ruin another moment.

I am who I am, I look how I look, and my body is a powerful machine. I've been striving to live my life with complete disregard for my insecurities. I fail a lot - but I also succeed a lot more nowadays than when I first started trying... So I think I'm doing good!

17 comments

  1. getting closer.. im not concerned about your boobs per se, but id like to know if you have any birthmarks in the chest area. not just chest, but imagine a cylindrical section about 8in in diameter along the z-axis, extending thru your chest to your back. "birth marks" in this context meaning any kind of mark or abnormality, whether external or internal thru the 8in section, could be on your back/spine, etc. this is important, as i need to rule you out in the search we are doing for a specific person that you match about 75%, and this incl astrological data. you could bring much peace of mind to others who are interested in this topic, one of which unfortunately passed away October 19th-20th(im sure you felt it, at least subconsciously, if you are in fact the right person). the affected ppl need closure. help us out.

    ciao darling,
    me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Natural herbs have cured so many illness that drugs and injection can’t cure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. i read people's testimonies online on how they were cured of HERPES, HIV, diabetics etc by Dr Ojoka herbal medicine, so i decided to contact the doctor because i know nature has the power to heal anything. I was diagnosed with HIV for the past 3 years but Dr Ojoka cured me with his herbs and i referred my aunt and her husband to him immediately because they were both suffering from Herpes but to God be the glory, they were cured too .I know is hard to believe but am a  living for testimony. There is no harm trying herbs Contact Email drojokarootandherbal@gmail com or whats app him +2348144172934










































      Natural herbs have cured so many illness that drugs and injection can’t cure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. i read people's testimonies online on how they were cured of HERPES, HIV, diabetics etc by Dr Ojoka herbal medicine, so i decided to contact the doctor because i know nature has the power to heal anything. I was diagnosed with HIV for the past 3 years but Dr Ojoka cured me with his herbs and i referred my aunt and her husband to him immediately because they were both suffering from Herpes but to God be the glory, they were cured too .I know is hard to believe but am a  living for testimony. There is no harm trying herbs Contact Email drojokarootandherbal@gmail com or whats app him +2348144172934

      Delete
    2. i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
      He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
      1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT      

      Delete

    3. Grateful to Dr LOSA for all his help for my life, my partner was having Herpes Simplex Virus, and we were planing on getting married on early December, when we decided to get ourselves tested first and we found out that my Girlfriend was HSV 2 Positive, my Girlfriend was so unhappy, because this was a barrier for us to get married, so i went out to search out a remedy for my partner, and it was so surprising how Dr LOSA has been a blessing and healing to the masses, after reading about his work on a blog i immediately emailed him: dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and he wrote back to me that my Girlfriend will be OK and that we we get married this same year, i couldn't believe it, after doing all that is needed to be done, i was surprise that after 2weeks of using his medicine my Girlfriend went to the doc and was diagnose negative. For more info contact his

      Whatsapp 2349056464736.OR

      email dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and you will get your illness cure and also beware of scams Good Luck

      He cure listed diseases

      CANCER

      HEPATITIS A AND B

      DIABETIC.

      HERPES

      https://drlosaherbslhome.wordpress.com




























      Grateful to Dr LOSA for all his help for my life, my partner was having Herpes Simplex Virus, and we were planing on getting married on early December, when we decided to get ourselves tested first and we found out that my Girlfriend was HSV 2 Positive, my Girlfriend was so unhappy, because this was a barrier for us to get married, so i went out to search out a remedy for my partner, and it was so surprising how Dr LOSA has been a blessing and healing to the masses, after reading about his work on a blog i immediately emailed him: dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and he wrote back to me that my Girlfriend will be OK and that we we get married this same year, i couldn't believe it, after doing all that is needed to be done, i was surprise that after 2weeks of using his medicine my Girlfriend went to the doc and was diagnose negative. For more info contact his

      Whatsapp 2349056464736.OR

      email dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and you will get your illness cure and also beware of scams Good Luck

      He cure listed diseases

      CANCER

      HEPATITIS A AND B

      DIABETIC.

      HERPES

      https://drlosaherbslhome.wordpress.com

      Delete
    4. GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER FAST AND CONCEIVE SPELL, SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FROM DIVORCE AND AMEND YOUR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HELP OF DR LOVE0 EMAIL:DOCTOR0LOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM
      Am shelny by name from UK i want to share my testimony to the world for the good help Dr Love0 granted to me. I have not been able to conceive for 5 years after marriage and this made my Husband Left me for another woman. I have been going through pains and hurt. I loved my husband so much that i cant stop thinking about him, a friend of mine who saw my condition and also know how i feel as woman she was looking for different way to help me, She called one day and said to me that there is this Great man somebody was talking about that he reunite lovers that i should contact him for help. That was how i contacted the great Dr Love0 and explained my problems to him and he told me not to worry that my man is going to come back within 24 hours and he will prepare some herbs for me that will make me pregnant, i never believed him until the 24 hours he promised, my husband called me and was apologizing to me that he needs me now in his life, i was so surprised because i felt it was a dream. So that was how my Husband came back to me March 15. Dr Love0 prepared his herbs for me and i used it a prescribed now am 2 months pregnant. What happened to me is like a dream and am telling people out there if Dr Love0 can solve my case i believe there is nobody Dr Love0 can not help. So if you need his help you contact him through:doctor0lovespell@gmail.com or check his blogs: https://doctorlovespell0.blogspot.com/  or check website:  https://doctor0lovespell.wixsite.com/lovespell or visit his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Love-Spell-Doctor0-107453264273672/ 
      Once again thanks be unto you the great Dr Love0 and God bless my friend who told me about Dr Love0.

      Delete
  2. Natural herbs have cured so many illness that drugs and injection can’t cure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. i read people's testimonies online on how they were cured of HERPES, HIV, diabetics etc by Dr Ojoka herbal medicine, so i decided to contact the doctor because i know nature has the power to heal anything. I was diagnosed with HIV for the past 3 years but Dr Ojoka cured me with his herbs and i referred my aunt and her husband to him immediately because they were both suffering from Herpes but to God be the glory, they were cured too .I know is hard to believe but am a  living for testimony. There is no harm trying herbs Contact Email drojokarootandherbal@gmail com or whats app him +2348144172934

    ReplyDelete
  3. i already gave up on ever getting cured of HSV2 because i have try many treatment none of them work out for me i have go to different hospital they always tell me same thing there is no cure for herpes when i came across a post about Dr ohunyom, in the net from a lady called Angela i contacted him and he reassured me with him herbal medicine which i took according to the way he instructed, that how i was cured. I doubted at first because i have been to a whole lot of reputable doctors, tried a lot of medicines but none was able to cure me. so i decided to listen to him and he commenced treatment, and under two weeks i was totally fee from #Herpes. i want to say a very big thank you to DR ohunyom for what he has done in my life. feel free to leave him a message on email drohunyom@gmail.com and also WhatsApp him +2349060579973..
    He can still be able to help you with this herbs medicine:
    1...ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILESY/HPV CURE/LUPUS/HEPATITIS/CANCER/GOUT      

    ReplyDelete

  4. Grateful to Dr LOSA for all his help for my life, my partner was having Herpes Simplex Virus, and we were planing on getting married on early December, when we decided to get ourselves tested first and we found out that my Girlfriend was HSV 2 Positive, my Girlfriend was so unhappy, because this was a barrier for us to get married, so i went out to search out a remedy for my partner, and it was so surprising how Dr LOSA has been a blessing and healing to the masses, after reading about his work on a blog i immediately emailed him: dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and he wrote back to me that my Girlfriend will be OK and that we we get married this same year, i couldn't believe it, after doing all that is needed to be done, i was surprise that after 2weeks of using his medicine my Girlfriend went to the doc and was diagnose negative. For more info contact his

    Whatsapp 2349056464736.OR

    email dr.losaherbalhome@gmail . com and you will get your illness cure and also beware of scams Good Luck

    He cure listed diseases

    CANCER

    HEPATITIS A AND B

    DIABETIC.

    HERPES

    https://drlosaherbslhome.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi everybody. I recently saw a testimony about chief dr lucky in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my boyfriend and we had been dating for six months, he just suddenly changed, he wasn't returning my calls,he started cheating,he was hurting me in many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted chief dr lucky ..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable, his consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cause I heard read and heard lots of stories to of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing...I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope he could help other people too like he did me...I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back. E-mail: Cheifdrlucky@gmail.com or contact him on whats App him +2348132777335 Website :http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/  

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hello, everyone! I,m here to explore blogs and forum about the wonderful and most safe cure for (Herpes Virus).I was positive to the deadly virus called herpes and i lost hope because i was out casted and rejected even by my closet friends.i searched on-line to know and enquirer about cure for Herpes and i read someone testimony on how he was cured from Herpes so i decided to contact the same herbalist because i know that nature has the power to heal everything.i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will heal me with the natural herbs from God!after 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via DHL and it got to me after 3 days!i used the med as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured!its really like a dream but i am so happy!thats the reason i decided to also add more comment of Him so that more can be saved just like me!and if you need his help, you can email him on nativehealthclinic@gmail.com, Instagram IG: @dremmanuel2 or whatsapp +2348140073965 I,m neme amber and you can get in touch with me via nemeamber@gmail.com..Contact him for help at Herpes virus HIV/AIDS CANCER COPD BRAIN TUMOR All kind of virus and disease //...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 3 years and 8 months, and ever since then i have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until i came across testimonies of Dr Oliha on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then i contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which i took according to his instructions. When i was done taking the herbal medicine i went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise i was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr Oliha today on this Email address:{oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} or WhatsApp him on this Tell.Number +2349038382931

    ReplyDelete
  8. You perfectly described everything in your post. The main thing that worries me is, I can not understand the main aim of this article.

    ReplyDelete
  9. HOW I GOT RID OF MY HERPES Virus WITH THE HELP OF DR AKERE.    Greetings to the general public, i want to inform the general public how i was
    cured of HERPES Simplex Virus by a Doctor called Dr AKERE. i visited different hospital but they gave me list of drugs like Famvir, Zovirax, and is Valtrex which is very expensive to treat the symptoms and never cured me. I was browsing through the Internet searching for remedy on HERPES and i saw comment of people talking about how Doctor Dr AKERE cured them. when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took as instructed and it seriously worked for me, i am a free person now without problem, my HERPES result came out negative. I pray for you Dr AKERE God will give you everlasting life, you shall not die before your time for being a sincere and great man. Am so happy, you can also contact him if you have any problem like HIV/AID, CANCER,HERPATITIS,DIABETES,HPV,INFECTION ETC. Reach him on his  Email Address at=== drakereherbalcure@gmail.com  or you can contact him on WHATSAPP FOR EASY ACCESS at +2348070670337 you can visit his website at https://drakereherbalcure.wixsite.com/website-2 blog: 


    https://drakereremedy.blogspot.com/ here is where you can also visit his facebook page https://m.facebook.com/drakereherbalremedy/ DR AKERE is indeed i true healer and a great man

    ReplyDelete
  10. It’s obvious some patient with HERPES are been enslaved to the antiviral and other supplementary Orthodox medicine just to help suppress the virus and not a cure. I have been with the virus since 2019 until I was introduce by a blogger who also narrated Her story online on how she was cured of Herpes after using Dr ISHIAKU Herbal Medicine. This is a year and 2 weeks since I was delivered from Herpes. All thanks to God for using this Great herbalist to heal me. I have promise to keep telling good about this. Please fill free to share Your problems with him. Thanks. Write him via call or whatsapp him on +2348180828544 or email ishiakuherbalcure@gmail.com   thank you once again sir

    ReplyDelete
  11. GET BACK YOUR EX LOVER FAST AND CONCEIVE SPELL, SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE FROM DIVORCE AND AMEND YOUR BROKEN RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HELP OF DR LOVE0 EMAIL:DOCTOR0LOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM
    Am shelny by name from UK i want to share my testimony to the world for the good help Dr Love0 granted to me. I have not been able to conceive for 5 years after marriage and this made my Husband Left me for another woman. I have been going through pains and hurt. I loved my husband so much that i cant stop thinking about him, a friend of mine who saw my condition and also know how i feel as woman she was looking for different way to help me, She called one day and said to me that there is this Great man somebody was talking about that he reunite lovers that i should contact him for help. That was how i contacted the great Dr Love0 and explained my problems to him and he told me not to worry that my man is going to come back within 24 hours and he will prepare some herbs for me that will make me pregnant, i never believed him until the 24 hours he promised, my husband called me and was apologizing to me that he needs me now in his life, i was so surprised because i felt it was a dream. So that was how my Husband came back to me March 15. Dr Love0 prepared his herbs for me and i used it a prescribed now am 2 months pregnant. What happened to me is like a dream and am telling people out there if Dr Love0 can solve my case i believe there is nobody Dr Love0 can not help. So if you need his help you contact him through:doctor0lovespell@gmail.com or check his blogs: https://doctorlovespell0.blogspot.com/  or check website:  https://doctor0lovespell.wixsite.com/lovespell or visit his FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Love-Spell-Doctor0-107453264273672/ 
    Once again thanks be unto you the great Dr Love0 and God bless my friend who told me about Dr Love0.

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you want a babe from the house of Escorts Service in Dwarkathere are a few things you should know well before making a booking. Firstly our agency here at your city. In simple words is a cut above the rest because of the highly professional services we provide to our clients. Check our other Services...
    Escorts Service in Dwarka
    Escorts Service in Dwarka
    Escorts Service in Paharganj
    Escorts Service in Paharganj
    Escorts Service in Paharganj
    Escorts Service in Paharganj
    Escorts Service in Paharganj

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ok... finally got to the bottom after all these comments above...I think I have been cured of everything just by scrolling through them all

    Anyways back on topic...

    From experience, ladies who get a good job end up having a higher level of confidence, which breaks down some of their walls they have built up...

    I would say give it a shot or not

    ReplyDelete